I relate to this so much, Noah. To me coffee represents fun, nurturing, socializing, and jolts of feeling good and energetic.
My middle-aged reflux caught up with me and made black coffee hurt to drink! Thankfully, I posted this on FB and got so many replies--many of which are "Coffee is Life!" Ugh. Not helpful when you can't have it without feeling horrible! But, then, Carolyn Riker chimed in and said espresso works for her and she has a similar problem. Life-changer! Espresso works for me, too. 😅