Pre-lentil days — Every evening, after beans and rice, Bob’s mother would sit on his father’s lap and expel an enormous fart. His parents would laugh and laugh and Bob dreamed of the day he would be like his father, farted upon by his true love. Bob was an awkward boy and had…

Being comfortable enough in a relationship to break the fart barrier. — I was walking with my partner along the beach on a nice spring day. We had finished a lovely seaside lunch that included a couple of cocktails. It was just a few months into our relationship, AKA the honeymoon stage. Suddenly I heard a loud noise, that sounded a lot…

Breaking wind and toasting gas — Sometimes I am grateful that foods make me gaseous. Foods like deviled eggs, broccoli, and beans are good farting foods. They are hearty and delicious, too. Beans, beans, the musical fruit. The more you eat, the more you toot The more you toot, the better you feel… Let’s have beans for every meal…

A single fart that caused 10,000 deaths and the fabulous farts that made fame and money. — It can be difficult to believe, but some farts or stories of farts were strong enough to have an impact and make it to history. 1. The fart that started a conflict: in 44 B.C. 10,000 died in Jerusalem. It is described in the bestseller, The Jewish War, that a soldier, who was against the Jewish people insulted them by farting and swearing while…

Trying To Be Lady-Like Can Be Dangerous — It was November of 2020, nearing the end of a very strange year, and 6 months into a new relationship. My girlfriend and I had driven to Connecticut to meet my Dad to celebrate his birthday. …