How to seamlessly twirl from a gyno faux pas to burlesque — I grin at the country roadside haybale caterpillar and thank the bald eagles flying overhead as I drive towards Bartlesville, an hour outside of Tulsa, to see my Gyno about night sweats and what feels like month-long spotting. A few months ago, my favorite-ever gyno, Dr. N., who recently returned…

Happy to bring my bosoms back to the cheap racks — Back in the 1990s, when strangers shouted a friendly, teasing, “What’s up, Sinead?!” to my slender 17-year-old bald-headed self, I shopped for all my bras at Target. For one thing, there was a good chance they’d be on sale. Or better yellow tagged — Clearance. Plus they had plenty of…

Soulful and bare full moonlight swim — Last night, I had a birthday. A full moon birthday. I’d made special plans to do something else, but they fell through. Instead of doing my usual pouting about others ruining my “me” day, I went with the flow and trusted in the universe. With two women, I went for…

But I am on Cloud F-ng 9! — Perimenopause is for pussies. And, I mean that in the best way. So, here I am in the OBGYN’s office, wondering if I’m merely perimenopausal or facing cervical cancer. Perimenopause is For Pussies — Fierce, Juicy, Sensuous, Sexy Pussies Choosing an empowered transition into menopausemedium.com My hormones have been acting up since 2019 when I was 41 years old. Recently, I found myself back at my…

Regarding the mystical, magical, alchemical nuances of sex and sexploration — When I innocently discovered the tingling, luscious, delicious sensations my body was capable of at age 4, I spent much of the rest of my childhood repeating this mantra: “When I’m a grown-up I’ll get to experience sexual pleasure.” My mom discouraged my dating until after high school. I think…

Burning down the house — When you find your sex mojo again in your early to mid-forties, it’s in the middle of a pandemic, and your two kids are a teen and tween, you and your partner fuck each other all the time and don’t worry about the upcoming kids’ therapy bills. Or, at least…

On finding a revealing breast poem from my teenage self — When you were 18 were you thinking about your celebrity crush, getting your life on track with college, job, marriage, and kids, or were you obsessing about your body like I was? I’ve written about it before and I’m sure I’ll write about it again: My relationship with my breasts…

You are as beautiful as you allow yourself to be — When I was in college in the mid-1990s and looked in the mirror, I saw a young woman who wasn’t a “10,” who didn’t have “good enough” breasts, whose thighs were too big. A kid told me in 9th grade, “How can you be so skinny and have jiggly thigh…

Learn how to love your body — The best body compliment I have ever received was when my husband saw me relaxing in the bathtub. He looked over at me admiringly and compared me to a Botticelli painting. I was on the north side of 40 years old and I soaked in the substance of his words…

In which I imagine my husband’s thoughts the one time he found poop in my panties — Imagine this. Your sexy wife has been out puttering in the garden, thinking about getting naked with you. She knows what she wants. You are perfectly content laying on your bed for a midday weekend rest-and-scroll through sports, Twitter, and the news. You look up and see your wife’s heaving…

My leaky vagina improved the flow of my sex life — It started innocently. I got married. We enjoyed being a married, childless couple for about five years. We had really, really, really hot sex. Eventually, that led to getting pregnant. We had one kid. Then, we had one more. I birthed these babies through one rough labor and childbirth and…

But there’s still danger of losing your panties — Have you ever considered swapping your spouse? Just for the sex? For some spicing up of your love life? I’ll admit I’ve entertained the notion, and for me, it feels too risky. I don’t want to jeopardize my 20+ year partnership for some different meat sticks and creamed peaches. I’ll…

There’s physical therapy for that — I threw on leggings and a loose shirt, slid on loafer-style shoes, grabbed my keys and coffee, and headed to my first ever Physical Therapy appointment. I would’ve never guessed it would occur at age 42 and be for my vagina. The crowded office burgeoned with people of all ages…

How a pelvic floor therapy device is making Kegels fun — *While I discuss the Perifit specifically, I am not an affiliate, though there are affiliate programs available. This is the pelvic floor trainer device I ended up purchasing and I think many other women benefit from knowing about it. Men and women, but twice as many women as men, experience…

The “progression towards menopause” — Before the change Last night, I tossed and turned and turned and tossed. I put a pillow between my legs. My hips ache and this is supposed to help while I sleep. My mouthguard in place, I cradled my cheeks gently — a gesture that sometimes soothes me back to sleep. The hair…

Choosing an empowered transition into menopause — “I think that for a lot of people, menopause is kind of a collision course with parts of the patriarchy and sexism and oppression.” — Heather Corinna Did you know that menopause begins at a point in time 12 months after the last period? …

And making yoga available for everyone — Yoga can be fantastic for the mind, body, and spirit. But, whose minds, bodies, and spirits does yoga cater to? Here in the United States, yoga is steeped in rich, white, and modelesque culture. When you see yoga on TV or in person, it’s likely that you will observe mostly…

A patient’s point of view — CW: Traumatic C-Section is part of the narrative. Disclaimer: All information and resources in this article are based on my personal research and opinions unless otherwise noted. I wish to contribute to the VBAC conversation from a patient's point of view; I am not a doctor. My educational background is…