Oh my goodness! How funny and awful and funny, Bebe! I've always had a fantasy of being a flight attendant even though I'm 99.9% sure I would've sucked at it, even pre 9/11.
One of my annoying butt stories is when I was in high school with my pals at a Classic 50s drive-in. I don't know if I was hiding or tired, but I as laying down with my head on the backseat. A boy from our school came over to the car, opened the door, sat on my face, and let out a huge fart. Wth?!