HUMOR
Being On Hold Feels Like Waiting in Purgatory
A poem
--
As if
you should start a poem with “as if”
but, as if
it isn’t stressful enough
to start a new school year
amidst a global pandemic —
a global pandemic
one of our children was placed in the program
we requested — virtual learning
while the other was placed in distance learning —
Do you see the problem now with semantics?
Virtual and distance learning sound
one and the same, don’t they?
Or, maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think so.
I write this poem as I’m on hold
with The Enrollment Center
on the first day of school — August 31, 2020.
Chromebooks are back-ordered —
that’s okay for our family but I hope others get
what they need.
Elevator music pipes through my cell phone
and then a man’s voice, “Thank you for calling…
Due to high volume…we encourage you…
to hang up after leaving a message by pressing one…”
followed by a woman’s voice
thanking me for continuing to hold.
I’ve been holding for 30 minutes now.
It’s no longer an option to hang up.
In it for the long haul.
We need to go to the school
to pick up paperwork…
A bit archaic…
We’ll do that in 1, 2, 3, 10 hours?
After I get through to the
Enrollment Center.
Everyone’s doing their best.
And, this boring hold music
has given me the time
to compose a poem
for your entertainment
or chagrin…
STILL HOLDING…
